Why it’s okay to compare yourself to other writers

Us writers hear it all the time: “Don’t compare your progress to anyone else’s. You’re on the journey you’re meant to be on!” 

And it’s true! The pace at which one person writes a book, finds an agent, goes on sub, gets published, etc. can be much different than your own pace. And guess what? Whether that pace if faster, slower, or somewhere in between, it has nothing to do with either writer’s talent or potential for success. Sometimes, things just take time.

Publishing right now, amiright?

I have friends who were agented years before me and published books long before I found my agent. But I’ve never thought, “they got an agent first because they’re better writers” (even though they all are! My friends are legit brilliant!) I’m a human being, so I’ve definitely felt angst and twinges of disappointment along the way. But yeah. I’ve never fallen into a deep hole of self pity, or thought my writing career was doomed, if things didn’t happen as quickly as I wanted. 

I believe everything happens at the pace it should, and so I agree with that sage advice about not comparing my progress to others’. 

To an extent. 

Are you ready? Cause now I’m gonna play devil’s advocate. 

There are times where it’s helpful, nay, critical to compare yourself to other writers. But not for the reasons you may think, and not in the way you may think. 

I’ll give you an example. 

I’m in several writing group chats, and one is all about writing sprints. My friends and I hop in and out of the chat to share writing snippets, share progress, and engage in sprints where we *write write write* in our respective corners of the world. Inevitably, I compare myself to them. 

“Oh my God, look at Janice go! She wrote 10k words today!? Ugh, I’m so jealous; I haven’t touched my book in five days!” 

“Wow, Emily’s already halfway through her revision, that’s awesome! I can’t wait to revise once I actually finish my draft. I should get on that…” 

Notice in these examples I’m both celebrating my friends and taking note of my own progress. THIS is when comparison can be helpful. When I see all the wonderful things my friends are doing, it forces me to reflect on where I am in my own journey. If I ever feel envious or down on myself in the process, it has nothing to do with my friends. It’s just a subconscious signal that I want to be achieving or doing more with my writing. 

Comparison, in this sense, lights the proverbial fire under my butt. 

But be careful, there’s a fine line that shouldn’t be crossed here. Comparing yourself to other writers shouldn’t urge you to abandon your goals. It should inspire you to set and reach new ones. Comparing yourself to others isn’t about drowning in bitterness or self-doubt. It’s about recognizing where you are in the process, and then realizing where you want to go.